Ava Carrie Williams

Bloggy Woggy

Donuts are Just OK

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As a human, an American, and a lover of baked goods, I need to tell you: Donuts are just OK. 

I am not saying they don’t have their merits, or that I “hate fun.” I’m merely suggesting that they are overrated. Here are some great and convincing reasons why donuts are alright.

Taste

  • Way too sweet. How can one thing be so deep-fat fried and so sweet? You cannot have it both ways
  • Apple fritter —> cool idea…but then shouldn't it just be an apple danish? Game, set, match
  • Points for cream-filled donuts

Texture

  • Old-fashioned donuts - I don’t get it?? What is the draw here?
  • Some people are into stale donuts…and that’s fine (it’s not) 
  • More points for cream-filled donuts

Presentation

  • Iconic round shape, though a little repetitive (and don’t say “what about bars??” they’re a cop-out, and you know it)
  • Pink & chocolate donuts with sprinkles - 10/10 🇺🇸
  • Extra points for ability to hook multiple donuts on finger

Am I saying I would refuse to eat donuts if they were laid out in front of me, all glossy and glazed in their little box? No. I am not an idiot. I love sugar more than I dislike donuts. I would go to town on them until I felt unwell. 

I’m just saying that as the (unelected) pastry mascot of Portland, OR, they could stand to roll aside and let muffins or danishes have a turn. Or eclairs? Think about it. 
 

Food, Humor, ReviewAva Williams